I’ve been asking myself this often over the last year.
It’s hard to say goodbye…
They say time heals all wounds and goodness knows I’ve written about death and the aftermath in Cheyenne’s life, but having it touch my heart in the way it has with my sister-in-law’s death can make you question a lot.
I knew I was going to have to write this email at some point; I also knew it would be one of the hardest emails I had to write too. Why am I even telling you this? Because you need an explanation on why the next book, Confessions, isn’t complete yet.
This past year has been challenging in more ways than I can explain, but one, in particular, stands out in the forefront. You see, a year ago my sister-in-law was diagnosed with stage 4 gastric cancer. She was so young, barely turned 50, and to get a diagnosis like this was devastating. There is no cure for gastric cancer, notta, zero. We knew it was going to be a fierce battle, but regardless I wasn’t prepared to watch her suffer so needlessly.
The morning she passed, the hubby and I were on our way over with flowers to help brighten her day…but she never got to see them. We’d already said our goodbyes, as best we could, but it didn’t make it an easier. Megan and I had been friends for over 30 years, 30 years of memories together in college and through our marriages. We had shared so many funny stories, child rearing and survived the brothers most importantly. It’s going to be hard knowing I can’t text her, give her a call and see if she wants to go for one of our regular summer morning walks or just have a cup of coffee together… The only bright spot in all of this sorrow is the fact that I know I’ll see her again one day in heaven–something that can never be taken from me.
Scotty McCreery has a song called “Five more minutes”, and it brings tears to my eyes wishing, like the song, I had just five more minutes.
Cancer is such an ugly disease. I wish it didn’t exist, but it does. If I could go back in time and change things for her and her family, I would, in a heartbeat, but I couldn’t and now here is where we all stand…
My heart hasn’t been in the right spot to continue writing Confessions this past year. My mind has been willing, but the heart wants what the heart wants, and the heart wanted me to focus elsewhere, namely on my sister-in-law and her family.
You have been so patient with me as you await Confessions, and well, I just wanted you to know that I do have plans to finish it and the rest of the Timeless Series. I’m more than halfway through it, so I’m hoping I can have a summer/fall release. I can’t make any promises, but I want you to know that I will be diligently working towards this goal now.
I also want to thank each and everyone one of you who had prayed and sent me notes of thoughtful, kind words when I sent an email out early 2017 telling you about Megan. I know I couldn’t answer each one, but I want you to know that I did read them all and it touched me genuinely to see that you, my fans, care so much for me.
Here’s the rocky start I’ve had so far in 2018 and the healing that will come. Here’s to the mountains we all will climb and the lessons we will learn. Here’s to becoming the person we were always meant to be.