A C.A.T.T.S. Epidemic…

12 Comments / Books, Fantasy / By
An epidemic seems to be spreading in the Idaho region and
now is taking hold in other regions as well. Europe, Tokyo, China, Italy,
Russia, Germany, India, Philippines, Canada, Pakistan and Uganda just to name a
few.
What is C.A.T.T.S. you ask? What’s this new disease that has
reared its ugly head? Well, it’s a fairly new arrival on the “plague” list and
I’ve got Dr. Sam Dogra, a renowned specialist on the topic to help me with this
disease.
First lets start with the terminology: C.A.T.T.S.: Chronic
Addiction to Timeless Series.
“I have been researching this C.A.T.T.S. disease, which has suddenly
swept over the region of Idaho,” says Dr. Dogra. “Though the data I have is
limited, it seems to be an infectious pathogen which is extremely contagious.
The mode of transmission is unclear but all cases so far have been exposed to a
certain fiction novel, which may be harboring the disease itself.”
Dr. Dogra continues on, “This book, ‘Cheyenne: A Timeless
Series Novel’ should be avoided at all costs. We have repeatedly contacted the
author but she denies all knowledge of this C.A.T.T.S. outbreak and is not willing to take
responsibility. We urge the public to remain vigilant and take care which YA
fantasy romance books they purchase. So far no cure is available but I can
assure you we are doing everything we can before this C.A.T.T.S. epidemic spirals out of control.
If you or your family suffers any of the C.A.T.T.S. symptoms described below, please see
your doctor immediately, and in more severe cases go straight to your local
hospital’s ER. That’s all I have to say for now.”
C.A.T.T.S. Symptoms:
  • ·
    Irritability
  • ·
    Visual hallucination about three men named:
    Callon, Colt, and Daniel
  • ·
    Night sweats
  • ·
    Lack of coherent thoughts
  • ·
    Inability to form complete sentences
  • ·
    Daydreaming
  • ·
    Sudden addiction to caramel
  • ·
    Nervousness
  • ·
    Anxiety

 

Rare but serious C.A.T.T.S. symptoms:
  • ·
    Constant checking of Facebook account for
    Timeless Updates to help quench desires.
  • ·
    Constant checking of amazon account in search of
    next release.
  • ·
    Calling boyfriend/husband/male friend by the
    names of Callon, Colt or Daniel.
  • ·
    Telling people to call you Cheyenne or Chey for
    short.

 

More serve manifestations of the C.A.T.T.S. disease*:
  • Believing
    one no longer ages, that they are Timeless.
  • Believing
    one has supernatural powers.
  • Food no
    longer appeals to you.
  • Sleep has no
    meaning.
  • You no longer
    take phone calls or participate in activities unless they revolve around The
    Timeless Series.
  • Your only
    desire is to read Cheyenne and other books in the Timeless Series over and over
    and over again.
*These symptoms may require hospitalization and should been
attended to immediately.
 
In conclusion you may ask how is Dr. Dogra an expert in the C.A.T.T.S. field? Dr. Dogra exposed herself for the sake of medical research and now suffers from the disease for which there is yet no cure. She is currently working tirelessly on a vaccine.

 

 
 

12 thoughts on “A C.A.T.T.S. Epidemic…”

  2. triciadrammeh

    Poor Dr Dogra. It's very brave of her to sacrifice herself in order to find a cure, but she better work fast. I'm suffering from most (okay all) of the symptoms you listed, so I think I might have contracted CATTS. But, I'm not worried. If I just read Cheyenne one more time, I'll be fine. Oops…gotta go! I need to check the Timeless page on Facebook. There might be updates!

  4. Sammy D

    No sacrifice is too great for the sake of medical research! Besides, I'd have never got it past any ethics committee 😛

  6. Granny

    I have just finished Cheyenne and have been diagnosed with 'More serve manifestations of the C.A.T.T.S. disease'. I "Promise" if I win the next novel in the series I will become Timeless myself!!

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